As promised, here is a glimpse into my other world...
The one where stories beg to be written.
This is where I put the paint brush down and go even deeper.
My journey with the written word has been a complicated one.
For years I tried to suppress it, only to be awakened with a fever
that ended with five typed pages of pure emotion.
Many of you know, I completed a series of twelve short stories last year.
I sat on them for most of the year, wondering if I should continue.
The first draft was complete, but I knew I would have to go even deeper.
I would have to share them with an editor...
I did. I started. And then, I stopped.
It was too much. No more please.
They stayed in their folders.
But still, they called me.
They beckoned me to come back to them.
They knew before I did, that it was not over.
So, last December I enrolled in Sarah Selecky`s
online ecourse... and my friends...
it kind of busted me open again.
OMG!
I realized that much of my writing was summarizing
over the major and minor events that needed to be shared...
I had not gone there...
I was still shuffling, stalling, ,denying, protecting...
Until now.
These post-it notes are filled with wise words and tips from Sarah`s course
that are like little prayers and mantras for me as I write. This one:
“You have to feel it-the experience before you write it,”
has brought me to places I never wanted to go.
Where the words written by my hand make me weep from the inside out...
This is where I am when I`m not painting.
This is where I go...
This is where I have to go.
(even though some people will never understand why...)
Sarah encourages us to write all of our first drafts by hand.
Because writing words is an art form in itself
and when you are writing with your hand,
your are more closely connected to your heart...
My heart and my stories,
they are meant to be shared. I believe this now with my whole heart.
This is my biggest bad-ass dream...for reals...to share these stories, to set them free...
To share the journey.
I submitted my first story here.
And a second one to a place that could make
my biggest bad-ass dream one step closer...
But, I`m not ready to share this, yet...
“Tears are words that need to be written”
by
YAY!!!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to everything you wrote here today. I grew up the daughter of an English Major ... G.daughter of an artist/doll collector/small bookstore owner. The pressure to not only write, but write well was so much more than I could take so I bolted. I have not had an English class since 1st semester 10th grade. With all that in my basket, I did everything I could to avoid writing anything more than a quick note. Was I able to escape it? A big fat enormous NOPE! I wake up in the morning with words running through my noggin like a raging spring river after the first big thaw. I compose in my head ALL day long, and many hours into the night. I avoid putting them down because then I feel like they may own me, and I'll be enslaved to that crazy world of the writer. And yet, here I am ... unable to stop the flow from my brain to my fingertips :) AND ... as I now live in my 40's I'm okay with it! I'm okay if no one likes what I write ... I'm okay if all those words never make it farther than my lips ... I'm okay with sitting and writing all day long if I don't feel like making art.
It's all good ... and I'm even okay with that!
xox
Wow... thanks Danielle! I'm sitting in Starbucks trying to be all cool but the tears are trying to sneak out! I know exactly what you mean... and I also have stories I know I'm supposed to tell, but simply do not want to go there yet. I know I have to "feel" those things again in order to get it down on paper right. You are a very talented, strong woman and I adore your courage. YOU CAN DO IT! Thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteRenee
xoxo
Thank you for sharing this post. I too, am a writer, though it took me a while to believe it. It's encouraging to see you make this journey :)
ReplyDeletedearest Danielle, i understand why.
ReplyDeleteI understand why this is the place where you need to go, and i'm so happy you listen to the whispers of your stories & find the courage to go there when they call to you. Such a beautiful little writing space you have there. And i so agree with Sarah Selecky's comment about writing free hand (rather than on the computer). There's something sacred to me about a story being told from the heart to the hand. I cannot wait to buy your published stories. :-) hugs xoxo
ps: in that last photo with the little note that reads "it"s ok to believe"... the painting/collage of the typewriter... did you DO THIS?!? Omigod, it stopped me in my tracks, I swear. It's BEAUTIFUL.
It's amazing how it seems that all us artistic minds entwine on so many levels...I have actually written and illustrated a children's story and had self published it in 2004...but due to the loss of my grandma about the time I was getting ready to promote it...I was soo grieved that I did nothing...and to this day, still have not! It took me a long time to pull out of the depths of despair and I rediscovered my love for painting...but at the same time I have had so many ideas for other stories flowing in my mind...especially one story. I also know that I NEED to do something about my children's story...I know it wasn't given to me for nothing...so thank you for posting this and really with out even knowing...reaching out to me to remind me of the stories I have to tell, reveal, to share!!
ReplyDeleteI, too am a writer...in fact that is my MAIN passion...has been since I was in the 5th grade. I write to share my heart and art has just been an extension of that.
ReplyDeleteThis year my word is STORY...I have been writing more and I love the idea of writing it by hand first...I do believe it is more connected to our hearts. I would love to take this course but I simply cannot afford it at this time.
Looking forward to your work!
It's so darn scary sometimes to even contemplate taking that first step onto a plank stretching into who knows where. When the time is right the low lying clouds and fog will clear but not before we venture a little further forward so that the Universe knows we are serious...this time. Well done girly girl, well done!
ReplyDeleteLove that little teeny note in the last pic that of course you don't notice until it's close up. Makes my insides quiver just thinking about all that it means.