Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Into The Winds

    
I watched the sun rise a few days ago. I couldn't sleep and woke up at 4am.
By 6am, I was in my car, driving in the dark, alone with my thoughts.
I've been scattered lately, dancing around something I don't want to look at, feel.

It's hard to love someone who is always in pain,
when you can't do anything to help, to take it away.
To make it stop.

I get angry. Often.
Most days I suppress it, until I can't. Anymore.
I'm afraid -right now.
To say it aloud,
to go there.
Scared of the unknown.
Feeling like the dues have already been 
PAID IN FULL,
with interest,
enough is enough,
where is the rainbow
after the storm?

We leave today for Steve's surgery.
It's a biggy-spinal cord surgery-
to help alleviate pain and pressure.
I'm asking for your help;
your prayers,
your positive energy,
your mojo,
your hand to hold,
your listening ear,
your love to shine.
Because together
is always better
than alone,
even though saying it
and sharing it
makes it more real.

Let
 fear scatter
into the winds
and slide off the rainbow.
LOVE,

17 comments:

  1. Love, strength, mojo and prayers to you and Steve!! xoxoxoxo and (((HUGS))))

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  2. Danielle- I have been following your story since last year when I found your blog (somehow!) and have been touched by the courage and determination your family has shown through what would for most people be an excuse to give up. You have my, and I am sure many others', positive thoughts and prayers. So, if if thoughts become things, and you know they do! - you are in good shape! Thank you for sharing your story in such a poignant manner. Peace...Lindi Stevenson - ArtinRealLife -www.lindistevenson.com

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  3. danielle ..whatever you need.. youve got it!!!!!my thoughts go out to all of you.. one little family.. facing all sorts of crappy things...please know we will all send our thoughts to this family ...YOUR FAMILY ..... be the strong woman we know you are.. use your words and let it out... xxxxx jaci

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  4. holding you here. while many miles away, i have you (all) in my hands. holding you all up to my heart.
    sending some extra love and shine.
    love you
    xoxoxoxo

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  5. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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  6. sending lots of love to you and your family. xoxo

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  7. Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

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  8. Sending you good thoughts and prayers.

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  9. draping blankets of love and light and strength over you all.
    praying for the surgeon's hands to be guided.

    loving you
    oxox
    k

    http://www.sweetwild.wordpress.com

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  10. I know it is hard. I am sending you love, peace, and Reiki to Steve (unless you don't want me to, of course).
    You won't pay anything in full, it is normal to suppress the fear the most we can, this is how we work most of the time, we push it away until we simply just can't take it anymore.
    Tout ira bien.

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  11. Sending you a warm hug and a hand to hold. Thank you so much for asking for what you need. You, Steve and Owen are surrounded by so much light and love today and always!
    with love,
    Valerie

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  12. I will keep your family in my prayers..I dont know you but I am sending you love support and a hug.
    Do not forget to eat and sleep..The healthier you are the better you can take of your family..
    Dont lose faith. LOVE YOU..gloria King

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  13. Ever since I first met you and heard your and Steve's story, I have known how strong and amazing you both are. Sending you both and Owen lots of positive thoughts and best wishes for better days ahead filled with more rainbows than you know what to do with!

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  14. I understand Danielle. My situation is not the same, but my partner lives with chronic illness. It is relentless and cruel and some days I wonder how we will ever keep going with no light at the end of the tunnel.

    Sending my prayers and love to you and yours today.

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  15. i am keeping you and steve surrounded by light in my prayers. you always have a hand to hold and arms to hug you...anytime you need them. much love and i so hope it helps his pain. xoxo carlanda

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  16. you got it, girl. I am holding your hand.
    xox

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  17. I am praying your husband finds relief. Living with pain or with someone you love that has pain is so consuming...my heart is going out to you and your family. Love, Leslie

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Thank-you for your words. I tuck them inside my heart pocket. xo